My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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