Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
