So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
