Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I deserve this hangover.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
