Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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