Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize