I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I could fuck to npr.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
