Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
