Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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