Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
areolas are like halos for boobs.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
