Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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