My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize