you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
