I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
