Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
