: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I'm really busy with my period
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