when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize