I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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