i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
