My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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