well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
