It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
