hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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