He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
