he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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