So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize