Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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