Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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