Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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