I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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