I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
