I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
