just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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