Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
