At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
