I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
