A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
