when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize