Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I wish i was in the wii world.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
