just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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