fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
