Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
