Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize