Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
