I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
