I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
