**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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