There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
