Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Randomize