Do you still have your period?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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