Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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