im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
