The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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