I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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