it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
