May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
