Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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