I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
