respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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