Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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