And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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