Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
